The Rosie Project is a humorous novel by Graeme Simsion that I read and reviewed back in August of this year, You can read my review, or a Wikipedia article to learn more about it. You can also sample it on Amazon or Google books.
The short synopsis is that the story concerns a brilliant Australian college professor who is on the Asperger's spectrum. He decides that he needs to be married. Being both socially awkward and detail orientated, he wants to find his wife in the most efficient way possible; through the various dating apps together with a 16 page survey to be filled out by the women who would like to date him. Needless to say, pickings are few.
However, due to a misunderstanding, he asks Rosie to a date under the false assumption that she is an applicant. Nevertheless, they hit it off... sort of, and their growing relationship is the basis of the story.
The book explores the mindset of a person on the Asperger's spectrum, but the author is not on that spectrum. However, a regular reader of mine, who has lived that life, read my review, searched out, found and read the book. He recently emailed me his reactions to the book. I thought that they were entertaining, interesting as well as educational, so I asked him if he would be willing to share his reactions with my blog readers. He has kindly allowed me to publish his remarks - Thank you.
So what we have below is his thoughts inspired by certain passages in the book. The passages he quoted from the book are in bold italics with our guest blogger’s reaction to them below.
Our contributor's observations on The Rosie Project begin with a few general comments on the book and his experiences and then are reactions to specific quotes from the book to further illustrate his points.
The Rosie Project (Simsion, Graeme) The "Rosie Project" is a quite interesting novel, the style is intriguing and funny. I did not like the last part of it. Seems a lot of books of this type end in marriage as the highest purpose in life. It's boring. I started reading the sequel, "The Rosie Effect" but this was a horror. It started where the "Project" ended and I was not able nor willing to continue reading that one. Okay, if readers want babies and mothers the author gives it to them but it's still boring. A few funny dialogues doesn’t help.
Concerning the Asperger Syndrome, what the author has written is correct, but not comprehensive. First and foremost Aspergers are sensitive against influences, like flickering fluorescent tubes, noises or even emotions of other people. I can't work in a room with a malfunctioning tube, let aside with some employee running radio music, and I asked a friend of mine not to use sad emoticons in her e-mails because they cause me depression. I can't stand seeing how a dog or a child is mistreated, I feel forced to intervene. The result might be one of the following.
Overload, Over-stimulation. Everything suddenly is experienced by the person at 100 percent. Noises are as if a bomb explodes, lights cause extreme effects, problems including emotions of other persons can not be kept separate from their own emotions.
Shutdown. The person is unable to act or react. I watched a cashier who was confronted with a problem she could not solve. She just sat there for minutes, not able to speak.
Meltdown, panic, a total loss of control, experienced as fight for life. The subject does not feel pain nor understands that he might cause pain and danger to others, risk his own life or might be punished.
So, I think the author might have observed persons in the autistic spectrum but has no profound knowledge about Aspergers Syndrome nor is he one himself.
"Most diseases have some basis in our DNA, though in many cases we have yet to discover it."
The Asperger Syndrome and being part of the Autistic Spectrum is no disease. I believe that it was important for the human race that a tiny part of them think differently and act differently, e.g. live alone in a hut in the woods and detect how to make fire. As an analogy, scientists have found out that the survival of a stone age tribe might be promoted if some, but not all women live until they are grandmothers, helping to raise the children and providing sound advice from their experience.
"brain function that had been inappropriately medicalized"
You can't medicalize autism. You might apply drugs which have a sedating effect. You must educate the non-autistic part of the people to tolerate autism, e.g. that autists are missing the instinctive behaviour to make eye contact and that this is not a sign that they are lying.
"Now we would have the inevitable small talk. I could have spent fifteen minutes at home practicing aikido."
Now that's a calculation I, being myself in the autistic spectrum, make all the time.
"offering practical advice, but it seemed that she preferred to discuss trivia"
Yep. I often teased my partner she should make notes when I explain something to her. I am not able to discuss trivia.
"It seems hardly possible to analyze such a complex situation involving deceit and supposition of another person’s emotional response, and then prepare your own plausible lie"
Correct. I don't lie unless it's necessary for a good joke. It takes too much time and effort.
"I continued with my presentation as I had prepared it."
Correct. I take much trouble to plan and prepare an activity, e.g. a tour with my bike club. Sometimes I had arguments with my group if suddenly the majority of them voted for changing the plan. Too much depended on my plans, e.g. to take a route where the sun would not shine from the front directly into my eyes.
"Asperger’s isn’t a fault. It’s a variant. It’s potentially a major advantage"
Maybe an advantage for mankind - some think that Einstein, whose strength is said to think things which are inconceivable for other people, was an Asperger. But the individual lacks the support of all other people and often is considered crazy and stupid.
"she put her hand on my shoulder. I flinched automatically. "
That's normal.
"No flexibility?” “Definitely not"
This is definitely a disadvantage of being an Asperger.
"Before I met Gene and Claudia I had two other friends"
Okay, I am a senior so most friends and all relatives in my life have passed away anyway. But today I have four friends which I communicate via whatsapp, messenger or email. In the average I may see them two times per year.
"She told me that her birthday had always been her favorite day of the year. I understood that this view was common in children, owing to the gifts, but had not expected it in an adult"
I don't celebrate my birthdays. Why celebrate when my remaining lifetime just has been reduced by one year.
"Most adults with Asperger’s syndrome don’t know they have it"
I got my diagnosis at 62 years.
"the horoscope readers", "the sports watchers, the creationists", "the homeopaths"
I don't understand them. I am personally suffering to be locked with all of them on the same planet. I only can bear them when I remember I might be responsible for them, e.g. my coworkers while I am between the CEO and them.
"accelerated workout at the gym, achieved by deleting the shower", "Although I was perspiring heavily from the heat and exercise"
Why bother with showering daily if I don't meet people anyway. When I was a child, everybody bathed on Saturdays.
"The correct answer is (c) on time,” I said. “Habitual earliness is cumulatively a major waste of time"
Can't stand people who come early to an appointment. If I expect somebody for 4 hours P.M., I need my time for preparations, to have ready fresh made coffee by 3:50 and finished setting the table by 3:59.
"How often do you train?”
“Three times per week"
At 50, I started training karate four times a week. Not because I wanted to become a superman, but because for Aspergers it is extremely difficult to learn new, rhythmic movements, e.g. dancing, or karate katas.
"I had not been to an art gallery since the tenth of May, three years before"
(Grin) That could be me, telling somebody else or composing an entry in my weblog which my few friends have the password of. Yesterday's entry was: " Kl. Rasenmäher: Messer und Haube abgeschraubt, Grasreste im Motor ausgeblasen und die Luftfilter gereinigt sowie mit Heißklebepunkten wieder eingefügt, den dicken Grasfilz mit zurechtgeschnitzten Hölzchen abgekratzt. Das Messer hatte ich zuletzt am 14.1.23 geschliffen, davor am 19. April 21." Translation (short): "Cleaned the small lawn mower, removed sickle bar and hood, cleaned motor and filters. Last time I sharpened the cutter bar was on 14 January, 2023 and before that on 19. April, 2021".
"I put the herb and vegetable mixture in the large saucepan with the water, salt, rice wine vinegar, mirin, orange peel, and coriander seeds."
My blog entry from yesterday: "Abends zwei Hähnchenflügel, 20min bei Höchsteinstellung 230 Grad, 5min auf dem Gußgrill, weitere 5min drauf belassen". Translation: In the evening I had two chicken wings, 20min at the maximum of 230 degrees Celsius, 5min on the cast iron electric grill, stayed on it another 5min".
"Rosie could leave and life would return to normal"
Correct. I like to have a visitor. Then I am glad if he/she's left and I can return to my routines and planed tasks.
"I went to the whiteboard and started writing up revised preparations"
Yeah, I have plans for everything, daily, week, months, life.
"“Well,” she said, “it’s been an evening. Have a good life.”
It was a nonstandard way of saying good night. I thought it safer to stick with convention. “Good night." I never know what I am expected to say.
"I told him that the flavor didn’t matter, as long as it contained alcohol."
That's my standard line, meant as a joke or to shock people I can't stand.
"being reminded that I needed to try harder to “fit in"
That's what I was told all my life. "Fit in with the onward surge of the lemmings, which inevitably ends in disaster".
"she hardly spoke at all. This made the walk quite pleasant"
I once met a girl with whom I made a trip to a beautiful lake and we watched, smiling, a nutria who had no idea we were there. She hardly spoke at all. She then was my partner for decades and still is my best friend.
"he was large and angry. In order to prevent further violence, I was forced to sit on him".
So funny!
"I am not naturally a dexterous person"
Aspergers never are. That is the reason for: "considerable practice over a long period"
"I diagnosed brain overload and set up a spreadsheet to analyze the situation."
When I told a psychiatrist exactly the same thing and showed her a 30 year old spreadsheet, she immediately diagnosed me with Asperger Syndrome.
"Look at me when I’m talking"
Aspergers can't do that. In the moment where they forget strict to control their viewing direction they won't look at the other person.
"my default assumption is that people will be honest"
Yeah, that was the big problem in my life. I never thought so lowly like some other people. Once I voluntarily maintained a public area bordering at my property. A neighbour asked me what I am doing, adding public property to my own. I never knew that the idea, to steal a little bit of land, existed on earth. Another time, I paid my food in a snack bar and took it to my table. Then I was admonished not to steal the salt shaker. I did not know that there might be people thinking so lowly and are so stupid to believe that somebody would steal a salt shake worth 1 Dollar. I never went to that place again. The are not really my race there, they only look like me.
"With the repeat button on", "Unlike many people, I am very comfortable with repetition"
Of course. If I like a piece of music, why not have it on repeat for some hours or days.
"One sentence per day. Leave out eating, sleeping, and travel.” That made it easy. “Sunday, Museum of Natural History; Monday, Museum of Natural History; Tuesday, Museum of Natural History; Wednesday—” “Stop, wait! Don’t tell me Wednesday. Keep it as a surprise."
SO FUNNY
"How long have you had that shirt?”
“Fourteen years"
I am quite experienced with turning the collar right side out after a few years so the shirt looks like new again. Have the best sewing machine you can buy for money (Bernina).
" never watch sports. Ever. "
I do sport. I do not sit in an armchair and watch other people doing sports. That doesn't help for better health and there is no exciting combat like, for example, in participating in a basketball game.
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